{{NSFW}}So. Today i ordered a piece of shit bootlegged Sega Saturn game (that was for some strange reason
a copy of "Super Hornio Brothers") at some shit garage sale that only sold $5 Macbooks. I asked if i could have the cartridge. And then the Chinese man typed in something to Google Translate, and said "For this game , but do not fight , or you will die ! Play the game at your peril ! Otherwise, you will pay the consequences damn.". Not having a clue what he said, I took the game and put it in my shitty Sega Saturn. Shit spewed everywhere because i realized the Sega Saturn took discs and not fucking game cartridges. That guy ripped me off! I quickly realized that it was for the SNES, which I had! So i plugged into my SNES and snorted a shit ton of Cock Juice. Then the game turned on to one of the most bloody and horrific things I will ever see in my entire life. I saw a cock ejaculating on the screen. The white stuff was unbearable. And then it told me to press the "Start" button, Which happened to appear on my cock. I started the game and i saw what was a faint figure. it was Mario! but there was something coming out of where his zipper on his pants should be. It was about 34578349574389457389 inches long. He then shoved it into what looked like a black sprite of princess peach. You could see it come out of her mouth. Out of curiosity, I pressed the left button and then shit my pants. I went to the bathroom to wipe my ass and then, I come back to a red screen. Then i realized, "what if this is all a glitch?" So i restarted my SNES and it exploded. My house caught fire but. I thought it was a glitch, after all. Everything but my TV broke. So I played as Mario after restarting the game after 111111 minutes. and then Mario hung himself. I violently vomited for the next 5 hours. After that i ejaculated into my living room. I realized the house was repaired, but Mario stood in my room. "Gotta Go fast!" was playing in the background, as Mario shook his bloody meat. I was petrified. I called the doctor, but he told me to stop letting monkeys ejaculate all over my couch. I called the cops, but they arrested me for having a shorter dick than Mario. I now sit in jail and he hung himself in front of my cell so he wouldn't get charges pressed against him. Fuck mario, If you ever see him, no matter how small your penis is, rub your dick all over the screen. Or else he will "cum" for you.